I think I'm going to challenge myself a bit here! I'm going to blog every single day this month & post about 1 thing I am thankful for each day.
I'd like to start out by giving thanks for my calling as Young Women President at church.
It has been one heck of a ride. I have never looked more outside myself than with this calling. I have never felt more frustration, anxiety, sadness & exhaustion as I have with this calling. I've never been more stressed out or harder on myself. I've never worried or been so hard on my performance. I've never been so busy or rushed. I've never cared so much or felt as driven. I've never been so pre-occupied with my thoughts.I've never cried this much or doubted my abilities this much. I've defiantly never felt this paranoid. I've never felt so much weight, an almost literal & physical weight as I have with this responsibility.
With all of that said, I've never been as thankful for a trial & blessing. It's taught me to reach out to my Savior.
I've felt the unwavering love & guidance from my Heavenly Father as I have served over the past year plus. I've finally understood what literal promptings were & how to recognize & listen to the Holy Ghost. On days when I wonder what in the world God was thinking when he asked me to do this, I get a sweet assurance that this was meant just for me at this time & in this place. I've felt over & over again that All is well or will be well. I understand that I will make mistakes & it's ok as long as I learn from them. I recognize that I have a purpose & that I am carrying out the Masters plan, even though I am flawed & lack the wisdom & life experience other do. I've learned to trust myself more...even if it's just a little bit more. Even at times when I stand outside myself looking in & wonder how I'll ever make it & know others must be looking over & at me & wonder how I'll do it too, I know I can & will.
Somehow everything has a way of working out, even if to no help on my part. I somehow always find answers & know that prayer changes everything. I know that hearts can be softened & I know that the Lord is a maker of miracles. Even though there shouldn't be any possible way I could ever make a difference, I do. And it's beautiful. It's helped me learn how to work with other people, especially with women. It's helped me understand that sometimes people are mean but that I have to move on because I can't let their opinions define who I am. It's opened my eyes to the importance of listening to the spirit & acting on what I feel & hear. It's taught me to let go. It's helped me understand that this calling is a stepping stone on my path to bigger things. Not just bigger in a church sense, but bigger things for me. I know this is re-shaping me. It's building me & re-working me. It's helping me learn vital lessons about leadership, trust, discipline & how wonderful the priesthood is. It's helped me learn patience & long suffering. It's taught me how to love & how to never give on anyone. It's filled-in the longing in my heart to be a mother & somehow made everything ok. It's taught me to wait on the Lord & in his timing in all aspects of my life. It's taught me to be less judgmental even though I probably still have a long way to go. But most of all, it's taught me to be less selfish. It isn't all about me, in fact it's not about me at all.
It's about Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ. It's about saving generations of families by saving one girl or one woman. It's about our identity as a women. It's about the amazing blessings the temple brings. It's about love & sacrifice.
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